i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
