Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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