New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
where are you?
Hypothermia
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
