i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
