We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i came on her dog
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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