I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
