Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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