How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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