I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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