Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
