Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
