is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
