dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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