I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
