i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
love makes seman taste better
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
