This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
