he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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