Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
