I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
