hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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