hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I cockslap morals
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
