i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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