why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
