she smelled like a LAN party
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
