the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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