He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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