She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
