you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
too bad you live with your parents still
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
