the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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