You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
