Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Nicole vs. Life
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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