Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
