i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
