gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
