I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
