One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
