Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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