Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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