I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
