Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
