i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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