I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
