We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
