I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
