there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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