I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
