Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
