Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
