I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
