I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
