trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Terrible idea I love it
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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