do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
